Reading Time: 2mins 40secs || The Journey of My Evolving Creativity
I have always experienced creative depression. It probably isn’t a thing yet, but we can all agree that we’ve been in this phase once or twice.
I lost my zeal to create, and that feeling of inadequacy crept in. To be honest, taking a break and giving in seemed like the best thing to do even though I knew that would hurt me. Creativity is my lifeblood, and just being in that space where all mojo was gone wasn’t doing my mental health any good.
It’s the birthing of something new when creating that gives me fulfillment. Creating runs deeper for me because it is an act of worship to God. I am made in the image of my father and he is the master creator.
I’ve strived to live my life the way he originally wanted it to be – for his glory and for his pleasure. I am called to create, and walking in this calling is the greatest form of worship.
So you can imagine what it felt like being at a point where I felt like I had lost it. It was a huge blow. Not only was I gradually losing my happiness and sanity, but I also began to feel distant from God. I asked myself questions like, “Do I need to do more?” “Am I not doing things right?”
Looking back, it was a very confusing and frustrating time for me, but thank God I can smile about it now.
It hit me then that God loves me and wants the absolute best. He wouldn’t want me to feel this way about something that is an expression of my worship. I shrugged off that feeling of wanting to do more or feeling inadequate and decided to face this thing head-on. The thing about God’s love and relationship is that it’s effortless.
Did an assessment of my process and how I’ve been creating. I realized that I was not ‘creatively depressed’. My form of creativity had evolved, I had moved into a new season and simply couldn’t recognize it.
Sometimes it’s hard to recognize what you do not know.
For so long I had chosen the path of lifestyle influencing, dumping all my personal projects, and creating the kind of content that sells. The kind of content I thought people wanted to see. Everything had become so cliche and had a routine. My page was beginning to look like clones of other pages.
Thing is, this routine had made me lose interest in all things creative. What was the need for creating and posting on the gram when clearly, I had lost my reason? From creating to feel fulfilled, I had turned it into a money race, amassing the likes, and good engagement. Posting on the feed became a chore. This made me think I was depressed and losing my mojo. I didn’t lose nada, I just lost the mojo to create in that old way, and it was obvious I had to embrace this new phase and own it.
I chose to create for myself and for God. If you follow me, you’d have noticed that my style has changed. From the way I write, my style of images, and videos. It has all changed, and that is very okay. Focus has shifted from call to actions, strategic hashtags, and all that work. It is now about giving more value, and always staying within my core. I absolutely love this phase I am in now. The phase where I simply want to reach out to people, express myself creatively, and just be unapologetically me.
I’m sharing this because I feel a lot of us evolve, but we don’t know it. We notice ourselves burning out, being creatively exhausted, but can’t even figure it out. Yours might not be the same nature as mine, but the most important thing is always staying true to your core.
I really hope this helps out someone who is currently evolving. It’s a process, enjoy it freely.
*Disclaimer: This is a story of my creative journey and how it evolved. This might not be the same story for everyone. I am in no way setting this as a norm for everyone.
Catch up on some of my recent posts
Connect with me on Social Media